It's Small. It's Short. It's A Rant.

Pinkie Swears. Those are serious shit. You think I'm kidding? Pinkie swear a 4 year old, and try to get away with breaking it. SERIOUS shit will happen.


Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about... I'm really not. I just happened to see Uncle Jesse give Stephanie and DJ a pinkie promise and I just felt like informing you of the gravity of a pinkie swear situation. You know, like a Public Service Announcement. You. Are. Welcome.

The real topic is that there is finally snow on the ground. It's January 13th, and there is FINALLY snow. The problem being, I drive a fucking BMW that literally got caught on a 6 inch snowdrift and got stuck and required a push out of my stall. Are you serious? I REALLY miss my Stratus... That girl was a beast! 

* Not only because she looked like one, either... The poor thing couldn't possibly have been named Beauty.

I had hoped that there would be snow on the ground, and that would discourage the little punks in this building from consistently stomping around my patio and screaming like little hell-bent heathens. I had hoped they would stay inside, where it's warm. 

Nooooope. They don't have on coats, or gloves, or hats. Just about 30 hoodies, instead. I see that was a priority on the purchasing list of the mother who drives the brand new Chrysler 300... 

And they are just screaming... Like they have no idea what the hell they are supposed to do in snow. You know what I want to do? Pick up the little bastards and throw them face first into the snow bank by my car that can't get out of the stall... 

Seriously. I want to hit these kids.

You know how it feels to trip over fishing line that is strung from one door knob to the staircase railing? No? I'll give your phone number to these kids. They can call you and tell you about it. Because I'm about to do it. I'll probably get another stint in jail, but that's fine. Who cares? What's another misdemeanor battery charge?

Not that I've had a battery charge before... well, not a conviction. ;) 

You. Are. Welcome.